HARMATTAN 101: 9 ESSENTIALS FOR HARMATTAN SEASON

Hi guys! First off, I would love to really apologize for not posting in a long time (final year things..)  and also let me be the first to wish you a very merry xmas hols in advance anywhere you are!

The harmattan season is here (especially West African countries) and as you know it, this season brings in a lotta dry dusty wind, a bit of cold and a slightly a bit sunny (depending on the day) and more importantly, this season tells us that xmas is lurking! *yayy* happy dance*

Here are 9 essentials to keep your skin from dryness and keep it warm and glowing and don't forget that your hygiene level would be scaling up to 101% (ya heard it!). They are;

1. Body oils - Don't dry your body entirely after shower. Leave it a bit damp and apply any nice body oil of your choice (look out for ingredients tho). This method helps oil to penetrate the skin and keep it fresh even after it's dried off.
2.  A Bottle of water(s) - Harmattan is a dry weather and it makes your throat dry as well and you keep yearning for a drink but to be 100% healthy, make sure you have at least a bottle of water with you. Water refreshes your skin and makes it glow
3.  Hand Creams: You know you need this in case your palms get dry and quite crackly.
4. Hand Sanitizers: If you go around touching dusty cars, chairs or even your clothes, you are simply attracting germs that come with the dust and you could apply hand sanitizers when you are not close to a tap.
5.   Tissues / Handkerchiefs/ wipes: For sneezing, cleaning or dusting.
6. Chewing gum: N.B. if you aren't supposed to chew gum for medical reason, please ignore. To keep fresh breath and chew gums with mints.
7. Minty sweets: Same as chewing gums and eat moderately.
8. Lip gloss / Lip balm: To avoid cracking of the lips and keep a soft, smooth healthy lips (all males allowed). 
9. A red Lipstick: From your Classic- Ruby Woo to your Revlon, any red lippie of your choice would do this season and don't forget to add a bit of shimmer on it. 

Hope you try these and give me your feedback! Happy Holidays!

Weekend Musings #2: Street Urination





I try to process the way some people behave here in Nigeria and I really don't dig how God created us but it beats my imagination how very uncivilized some of our 9ja folks can be..smh..they can embarrass us for Africa!! shaa keep reading you will know why...

Someone made a joke how a white man was asking God why Nigerians have all the natural resources that will make them the richest in the whole world and why God didn't allow Nigerians to experience natural disasters but He replied to the  white man,"you just watch the people and see"...I hope you grab the gist?

Let me explain....when you travel outta 9ja you stick to rules and regulations of the country you go to and if you break those rules, you get punished plus with the existence of those rules, you become disciplined enough not to break them..buh straight outta 9ja, "you-shit-you-clean-your-bumbum and expect the other folks to inhale the ugly smell and pack ya stinky shit! (insult upon injury!). In other words,some of the rules don't apply (except you enter LASTMA trap and #NowThatBuhariIsPresident)..even some of our ogas-at-the-top do bad stuff and clean their butt fresh and dry (err...stop wincing cos it happens in your country too even much worse).

Each time I step out of the house,I'm bothered by so many things I see around. Things that I expect people to adhere to simple rules or better yet, apply common sense and self discipline to it but they ignore it with all impunity and don't get embarrassed not even by their conscience!. Simple things like using the pedestrian bridges to avoid accidents, street markets,dumping of refuse-that includes that candy paper you throw on the floor, agberos (thugs) harassing the drivers for money, illegal posting of bills to mention a few,and the most annoying and disgusting of all-street urinating!.

The men are guilty of this (street urinating) and it's becoming more rampant unlike before but I thank God for KAI-Kick Against Indiscipline they are coming for you guys. Although,some women (market women) too do this but men are mostly guilty of this shit mehn!!..tharis how somborri would be flashing his blokos every where you turn like MTN...wetin dem dey find for daylight?..huh! if you enter a commuter bus you will see it live even when you didn't expect it. They do it in every corner, in front of a bus or at the back (especially those agberos) and they expect those hardworking LAWMA women to cover that uric acid with sand..chaii!!  diaris God oo..! Just think about it...after peeing, you don't even wash your hands or use hand sanitizers, the next thing is to touch somborri (not me) or buy gala, apple or even touch ya GF!..that is so gross and people should apply self discipline and you will find yourself not doing any of those things..chikena!

Fmr. Gov Babatunde Fashola made mobile toilets but 9ja people will not use those, they go about pissing and shitting every where after they will say "Nothing is working in Nigeria" or trend #IsOnlyInNigeria tweets when they themselves contribute to making things spoil the more...why not take a chill pill and travel to one of the sanest West African country-Ghana/ South Africa and throw a piece of paper or shit on their roads or canals and know what will happen...na God go save your ass that day...God Bless Nigeria...

Guys taking a shit..

                   *publish this like a baddie* *knock a guy who pees on the street*

When KAI catches you..

pics: Google

Weekend Musings #1: How I got Chased By A Dwarf Man.

I will always remember how this shii..happened some years ago. I should  title this a #TBT tho...

I flashed back in a "molue bus" after seeing some dwarf women having a deep conversation with each other and it was very admirable how those two got along and connected with each other unlike us..(not like am saying they are not normal ooo, they are absolutely normal!).

 I was holidaying at Alagbado somewhere around Raypower at one of my aunt's house and I was 10years old.So, it was a sunny afternoon and I was introduced to a bunch of kids in a face-me-I-face-you compound. Quite strange how we bonded but I enjoyed their company regardless plus I was a fresher in that neighborhood and didn't have the slightest idea how things went down.

Normal holiday kids should go for holiday lessons or have siesta as always but there I was teaming up with some couple of kids and disturbing the peaceful afternoon. It was there I learned my first Yoruba word, baba kunkulu...those kids were shouting, laughing and jeering at the sight of the dwarf guy but I didn't know the meaning. It means short man..I joined the squad and we were just making a hell of a noise..

This dude heard from across the street where he was going on his own ooo...the guy couldn't keep his cool again, he took it quite personal and off he began running from across. Fresher in the game, I had no idea and kept jeering and punching my hands in the air until it was quite strange how I noticed I was the only one shouting. Only for me to realize that the dude was coming for who?...me! apparently.. my shiii just go'real!!!

My adrenaline took to its defense and off! I took to my freaking heels..under a neighbour's bed (was the only safe place my 6th sense led me to). The idiot kids set me up!! this man followed shit out of me but I was lucky enough he was stopped by some women who were neighbours, they must have known what went down at the balcony/veranda (prolly cos their kids must have told em). He demanded he would take me to live with him and even said something about marrying him for making jest at him...
 

Oh...f^*k no!!...did i hear that shit? my crying just began until I slept off under the bed..(nor be my fault nah..). By the time I woke up, I had the neighbours laughing hard at the whole incident and yeah..I had learned my first holiday lesson well enough never to forget.

F.Y.I,  Never annoy a dwarf or a stammerer plus dwarfs are really great people if you get to know'em.
Photo Credit: google.com

HELLO ACCRA!:)

                      

That was how the announcement took me off guard; all I ever did was raising my eyebrows in disbelief! “gurl… I didn’t see this coming”, my subconscious pinched me and wiggled. Excitement drooled all over me like a puppy. It would be my first time to get on a plane to Accra! I scratched my head and tried to remember all the clothes I had in my box,  I tried very hard to do all the possible combination to appear really sweet on the D-day. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the trip, all the beautiful things I had heard about Ghana and even to confront my Ghanaian friends that I have been to their country. And now all those stories would be for real- yes! I quickly updated my BBM status to “Hello Accra!” my contacts should count their teeth with their tongues.

THE TRIP.

We have all been “jjc’s” at some point in our lives. Getting to the airport was a “jjc” (jonny just come) situation, so I scurried along with my family, we did all the necessary procedure before we boarded the Arik Air plane. Fresh huh? Well yea…Arik is like one safest and coolest airplane and we had the Economy class- not bad for a first timer like me.

In reality the plane looked way bigger than what I see in the air, it was beautiful and looked like a shark-only that it had no teeth of course! I finally got on the plane, the air hostess welcomed everyone on board and we were given some instructions to follow. Amateur like me, I had to struggle to find my own seat –in fact, I sat on someone’s seat and trying to figure out how to fasten the seat belt but I was soon confronted by the passenger who the seat belonged to. “But this isn’t a molue  ehn! Omo yii.. or you don’t know your seat number?” the seat owner questioned. I looked at him in defense and gave an embarrassing smile. He must be either hit with Alzheimer or a personality disorder to have questioned me like that! It dawned on me to check my boarding pass and the seat numbers on the plane to really understand the arrangement of the seat and that where I was, was actually the old man’s seat.. lol.. I guess I must have been hit with Alzheimer! The whole situation got everyone laughing. “shebi they are laughing, it only takes a monkey to know a monkey” my subconscious comforted me. They have been in my shoes too, I thought in affirmation.

 The air hostess, pretty, nice and neat soon came with light refreshment and says “welcome”, In M.I’s voice “she dey form Rita Ora”. The fact that she works on the plane doesn’t mean she has been abroad and why is she forming accent? You won’t blame me, these days people go to even Ghana and come back with British accents …habaa! “You are just beefing the poor air hostess”, my sub conscious giggles. To be honest, I wasn’t comfortable in the airplane the noise was really piercing through my small ears but that didn’t last because the flight from Lagos to Accra was 45mins excluding traffic…lol.

ARRIVAL

It is no mistake to say Ghana is beautiful! From the airport down to Accra was neatness personified. They had a warm welcome and the bill board had “Welcome” in Ghanaian language as “Akuuaba”. Again the usual immigration procedure had to be undergone. One amazing thing I didn’t see in the Nigerian Airport was the advanced health scanner the intending passengers have to stay in front of- It was the Ebola health scanner. All you have to do is stand in front of it and you look like zombies from World War Z. We got our luggage and got ready to check in at one of Ghana’s prestigious hotels but yea we got there pretty late.

MY EVERYDAY STAY

It is no mistake to say that my first trip to Ghana was magical..yes magical!I lodged with my family at the exquisite La Palm Beach Royal Hotel in Accra. The hotel is extremely large and has different lodge for different purposes. The Ghanian Village, Homowo Convention Centre, The Chinese Restaurant, The ever crowded pool and The Beach!! Chaii!! There is God oo!! etc and surprisingly there are no storey buildings in La Palm Beach Royal Hotel.

I don’t need my medulla to order me to bounce on my damn bed! Thump! Stump!..I somersault on the bed, roll from edge to edge, I switch on the freaking television just to discover that television is booring! Deep down inside me I remember Passenger’s lyrics “you only hate the road when you are missing home” I miss the hell outta Naija..It dawns on me the usual things I munch e.g night suya and Nigerian dishes, gisting with friends, the no-light syndrome, the blasting generator sounds in the night bla bla bla..anyways, I’m here for a holiday getaway from the hustling and restless streets of Lagos. Most times, I spend it on social media and listening to radio programs on Beat Fm. My saving grace was the wifi- the forth need of the 21^st century woman and the serene environment Accra had to offer. I sure would see angels in my dream.

                                                                                                                   …..to be continued.

                                                                                                                                                      

UNILAG LAW STUDENTS CELEBRATES COSTUME DAY

 

 

Ever sophisticated 400 level Law students of Unilag had a reason to wear these costumes

 

 unlike their "signature" black and white uniforms before their final goodbyes. Me like

 

*covers face* and wait till you see "thor!" ....and that's 'lady thor', what do you think?

Ellen's Selfie gets a 2.2million RTs.

Photo: Darey Art Alade pouting with Kelly Rowland in Selfie

Awww! isn't that a cute pic? lol...check out Darey Alade's eyes in the pics! very hilarious. Although Kelly walked off stage at the LLAM concert, the celebrity showed her playful side in the selfie pouting with our very own Darey! nice one.